Enotionful

I dunno why, just this i feel so emo. Maybe just being pessimistic again. Mom's sick so I need to take care of her. But she's okay now, thank God.


Thoughts of the future, again.

Love me like you do

It means "love me in your own way." But do it better. Do it like you mean it. Do it like you really do love me.

It's all over now

It is surely the end of it all.

July 5 - it was Lim's bday and I was thinking of messaging him, just to greet him. Like I did last year, last last year and 3 years ago. So I did. I messaged him around 12 am plus. We had a short convo because it was very late.

Morning came, we still message each other just about life and all. Then he asked me if i have someone special, and I said, i have but he friendzoned me (thinking about TYJ), He also told me he doesn't have someone special because he said "Im still the one in his heart." I was speechless for awhile, as far as I know he never lied to me, but at this point I think he was jst overwhelmed. I don't want to talk more about him coz at that time, I wasn't interested anymore.

I was also messaging TYJ that time and I told him about what Lim said to me. I told him that I don't have feelings for Lim and it's all because of him, which is a fact by the way. Coz that time, I was really interested to talk to TYJ. On that day, everytime my phone vibrates (always on silent mode) I was hoping its TYJ not Lim. Haha.


July 7- As usual TYJ and I would jst chat abt random stuffs, but it came to a convo in which I asked him if why he keeps telling me that he is a bad person. He told me he doesn't believe in love. I was curious. So i asked him if what I am to him. He told me he also ask himself that question. I was TREMENDOUSLY HURT. After all this time, Im still a friend to him. But I am trying to put all the blame on me because in the first place I chose to contact him again. I was hurt very much that I was hoping that it was just all a dream. But no, he said that. Now, Im not trying to contact him anymore because of the hurt that Im still trying to get rid of. It will take time. I feel bad for him because he tried to reach out, but I hope he understand that Im the midst of moving on.


So yes, this is the end of the story. No happy ending. Just a tragic affair.



Im sorry heart but we need to start again.

The world as it shouldn't be

I don't understand what is happening in this world. I don't want to live in this kind of situation wherein the right is the least priority. God is the least priority and the will of man excel.

Is this the world u wanted to lived in? Is this what God's want us to lived in?