Much Better he said

A year ago, i was very happy. I just remember those days, those times i thought will not end.
I never thought it will end this way, i never thought it will hurt this much 

I know i will still think of those happy times, it hurts a lot and yes its really killing me inside. But even how much i want to fix things, i know his very happy with his life

I remember he said , "much better not to get back together." much better... Much better. It stucked on my mind. It deeply hurts what he said. MUCH BETTER.

But why im still hoping? Although he said himself that its much better not to get back. Why do i really love him so much, where in the first place i havent seen him. Why do i feel that i have seen him and we've been together for a very long time that its hard for me to move on.

Im sooooo hopeless and yes i will be sleeping late tonight. :'(

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i wish i could turn back time

I miss your smile
I miss your voice
I miss your kisses
I miss you.... Very very much.

it turns out freedom aint nothing but missing you, i realized what i have when u were mine, how i wish i could turn back the time and change my own mind.

If we love again, I promise I will love you right. But if the chain is on ur door i'll understand. But this is me swallowing my pride saying im sorry for that night.

How i wish i could turn back the time. :'(

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Say NO to BEAUTY PAGEANT :(

i MUST join the beauty pageant they say, It will be fun they say.

No way!!! My manager and co-workers told me to join the pageant. I never joined any of it, and I dont want :( I dont have the height, the looks and the body. NO WAY!

I hate it. Why they must force me when theres a lot of pretty gals in my department!! Shame! :(

Please no!!! I dont want. I dont want. Its a shame for myself :(

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I hate myself

I hate myself. I thought I can forget him if im busy at work, but still cannot.

Why do I still hope when I know that there's no chance at all. Someone told me I can find a much better guy, but I just want him, I desperately want him only. :'(

Tomorrow is the day when we first talked. I never thought that exactly a year, It would turn out this way. I feel bad for the both of us.

I dont know what to do. Im tired. Im super tired. Lord, please help me coz I cant take the pain anymore. I just cant. :'(

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Intramuros Expedition

Today after church we went to Intramuros, a historical place here in Manila. The place where our national hero was put to prison. Its a pretty old place indeed. We had a lot of fun although im not a historian but Im happy we went there.

After we roam around, we went to Divisoria, one of the place I really wanted to go. The things there are VERY CHEAP and very cool! Man! I bought a bag and a shoes.  BYE MONEY ! Hello new stuffs! :)

Soon enough I am broke. My heart is broken already u know. Soon Im broke, means no money and my parents wont support me anymore, which I understand also :(

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How I wish...

.. That someday we can go there together. <3

Good thing is that I can jst imagine anything, although we are not together anymore. It makes me happy already. Jst imagining.

Imissyouverymuch. :'(

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Once upon a time

Once upon a time I was falling in love now I am only falling apart.

I wish I was strong enough to move on, to forget. But as usual, its getting worse, i am hurting more and more every passing day. Someday somehow....

I miss you. I just miss you very very much, i just wanna see you now. Thats all I want. But there is no chance for that. How I wish I have a big salary so I can easily go there. How I wish it was as easy as I can just imagine.

Im hoping, I am hoping that when the time comes that I can go there, I will see you. After two years or so...  Theres nothing impossible right?

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i am Blessed

One of the sad things being away from my family is being independent in all things. Theres a lot of temptation and the spirit is weak. I am very weak in all things. But God never forsake me. I am still BLESSED.

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Shame on Myself

Well nothing much, i jst hate myself still. I still miss him. Oh well, come what may. Nothing to do with it.

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I Officially Missing You

Yeah, I was crying again. Maybe i just love him that much, maybe i didnt even try to move on. Not even once. Im still hoping.

I miss that someone who I used to call Baby, baboy, husband, mylove... Lim.

But I know there is nothing I can do. How I wish I can just turn back the time and loved him right but its too late. Yes, its too late to apologize.

But im hoping... Still hoping... Maybe someday... Somehow.... :(

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