Back again! Gosh. I am super tired one.
So I stayed at my friend's place from friday night till today. We go here and there to prepare for the bible study. We sleep at around 1 am. THAT WAS THE MOST TIRING DAY EVER.
In the next day, we woke up at around 7 am. We ate the mangoes that pastor gave us. Then go to her aunty's house. We help do some stuffs for school. It was super hot one im gonna die.
We took photos. I look fair in the photos but she looks much fairer. Envy her so much one .
Gosh! Its 12:45 AM and I am still awake. Im at my friend's house. We just had our bible study.
Its super tiring. First friday I have work this year and it didnt turn out so well.
Say hello to my Unglam shots. Im super sleepy, super tired and its super hot in here. Issit just me or the weather is just really hot?
I dont really have interesting thing to say. I just wanna update my blog from time to time.
So this day, my old boss asked me to do something. Im not used to do stressful works anymore maybe thats why I had a headache. Haha. Lazy humanoid
So so so. Tomorrow im going to have a new computer at work. Well, I hope they can recover all my documents or else im doomed really.
I want to resign already and work at my hometown. But something is stopping me. Something is telling me not to go back but I left my heart in my hometown, at our home, in my bedroom. Haha.
I cant wait for Saturday. Im so lazy already and so tired everyday. I need strength. Will u give me?
Bae is releasing his new album. Of course I wont buy but Im supporting him. I dont know how though
Hello! Today was super tiring because we went to EK.
We didnt ride to all rides there sadly because theres a lot of people. So im a bit of lazy also. Just enjoy the photos. Seems like we really had a great time. Love this day!
Of course I have few of my solo photos.
Whoosh! I was just thinking what my friend Jerson told me last time. He said Im very choosy that Im going to live alone, all of my life. But I have my reasons...u know.
Nowadays, there's a lot of Jerson out there thats why im trying to be aware of who I met and talked to. Earlier I stalked my crush's FB and I was shocked he is already married, with two kids ! But he is very young, i guess. Well....
So finding Mr. Right. In my POV
1. Love God above all
2. Graduated with degree.
3. Good-looking.
Issit hard to find a guy like this?? Well, yes!
The guy I like at church has the no 1 and 3. But not 2. So yeaaaah.....
The reason I want to marry a graduate is that for future financial sake. Im also thinking about it man. We must have a house, our own house and not rented. He can support the family without me working.
So tell me why Im choosy. I dont want "just" a relationship for the sake to have one. I wanted something worthed forever.
Seriousness overload. So heres some stupid photos of me, Jerson, Kevz and Chef.
Hello world. Okay so direct to the point because im tired.
I went to my new friend's house. We had fun just talking and talking. But the awkward thing is how her brother shows interest to me. Although he was my crush the first day I saw him at church. But I dont like how he treats me seriously.
Why? He got a girlfriend. But for sure he dunno that I know. I dont want him to accompany me home but he keeps insisting. I dunno how to tell him.
Venue: Somewhere in Singapore
Time: Around 5PM
Church just ended. Nothing much to be excited. I just witnessed the proposal of Kevin to one of the churchmate just this day.
I decided to go in a park and there I sit in a bench beside a guy which I dont care. As I look at the people around me, I noticed a couple jogging with the same tennis shoes and then i realized it was Henry. Well I guess he found the girl of his dream. They seems an athletic couple.
There's this married couple in front of me. They are so sweet together and it seems I know the guy face. I cant believed It was Kelvin! He really married that girl. I smirked and think to myself how time ran so fast he is already married.
Then there's this familiar face again with his group of friends. They are three pairs. Well I guess they are really true friends. Im talking about Andy. They are cute bunch of lovers!
Then I noticed this guy beside me with his big back pack and his guitar. Then I was shocked for a moment. I dont know if Im just hallucinating or whatever. Its Alex...it was Lim. Im sure with that eyes, with that guitar and that tattoo. It was him. It was really him. I wanted to say Hi, so I gather all my strength and when Im about to speak.. His phone rang. He answered " baby where are you? Im in the bench near the food stand". Then for awhile there goes this cute girl who is same my age and height went directly to him. He holds her hands and kiss her on the cheek. I can say how happy they are. Nevermind. I shall not talk to him. Then they went to somewhere.
Im all alone in the bench. A bit of pain I still can feel. Then I didnt noticed my tears just feel. And suddenly out of nowhere... There this guy, unknown, seems a bit of familiar to me gave me his handkerchief.
It all started there. The start of the end of the search. I found him.
Maybe now I fully understand everything. Why Im seeking love, why I force myself to someone, why I gave motives to some... Now I know.
After half a year, I still miss you...badly. I guess no matter how stupid, immature and lame I am, I truely deeply love you. Maybe its true love, coz it hurts.
Reading my old posts, I think its all funny how Im super duper crazy for you. Well thats love I guess and I never regret loving you anyway. Sadly you moved on already. Dont worry I wont ever disturb you again ever. I will never view ur fb page and instagram coz for sure I will just get hurt seeing all of your photos with the girl.
I need to move on but I dont know how. Its hard to forget someone who meant your world then suddenly he's gone.
Well? I have nothing else to say coz all of my posts about you are just redundant. Haha!
BOOM PANES ang feelings!
Expectation. Big Word.
It's hurt when you expect but the reality is way too different.
I expected that this year I will be going to study again but I cant.
I expected that he might liked me but NOPE. Sister it is.
I expected that ive moved on, but....
Hey bae!! Happy birthday. I have been admiring you for 5 years now and my love for you never faded since then.
I remember back in freshmen college when my friend joked around you having your concert here with the rest of Bigbang. I really cried that time knowing that I wont be able to see you. The next year, guess what???? You really came.. To have your concert... ON THE EXACT DATE OF MY BIRTHDAY. Well that was a sad birthday then coz I wont be able to see you.
I hope that you will have more success in your career and please find a gf already. Choose the right one please . i will be hurt for sure but I want you to be completely happy
DONG YOUNG BAE I LOVE YOU!!!!!
Hello to the world! Im happy this day coz God answered my prayer. A new friend at church with same dialect as me.
Her name is Joy. She is 23 yrs old. She has a daughter named Marjorie which is 4 yrs old already. She is a very happy person. I just laugh and laugh at her. She talked about her life and I shared about mine, a bit.
I hope we can be really good friends and I hope I can help her to be converted to my faith and beliefs. I will pray for that.
Also, I met his brother who is Tonton. Same age as me. Nothing much about him. He just accompany me home. Such a good bro.
So I found out that my bf was cheating the whole time. Well, I expected that to happen anyway. Most men will intend to be unfaithful and this is what I call the Jerson Syndrome.
Okay, so Jerson is a friend of mine for a year and Ive known most of the things about him. How he let three girls believed that he is the most faithful, loyal and sweetest guy they had seen in their whole entire life. Well, hell no! He is a one big lier and a cheater! But thanks to him now I think 95% of the guys are like him. I tried to think that the bf of mine will be faithful maybe at this instance but he proved me wrong.
It doesnt hurt, its just sad that its hard to find faithful guys nowadays. Its sooooo very sad. Well goodluck to him and to his gf, may they last long.
I deactivated my instagram and Line so I wont be able to connect with him ever again and he didnt know why I suddenly lost in his world. Minus one to my stressful life.
SINGLE all over again. No relationship for now. Two consecutive failures is enough. I learned my lessons, when will they learn theirs???
So ive been away from my family for a year and I didnt know that at that time I was over the boundary, meaning I do things which my parents dont usually allow me to do. But its not really that bad but I just feel guilty although I also ask permission to my parents.
Firstly, I go out with my long time buddies till midnight. We just talk and talk in the park. But because they are boys, mom will be too strict. I know she trust me well so she just allow. But to my friends part, they think about it negatively and maybe I should be aware of my actions.
Then, I go to church late. You know that feeling when you have no friends so you are not excited to go the church? Well I know that the purpose we go to church is not for the people but for God. But its also a part of church, to connect with people but it doesnt worked out that way sadly.
Last, I hardly pray. It really seems that Im a very bad person now. Its hard for me to connect with God and I dont know why. I miss the feeling to be connected to him. I want it back badly but I dont know when or how to start . i need guidance but I dont know to whom.
I dont drink and I dont smoke but I make sins just equal to those things . I may not be tempted of liquor and cigars but I feel dirty and unhealthy. My spiritual body is dying and I need someone to make me feel the guidance and the love. Im very empty inside just like a backslider spiritually.
I dont know how will I feel. At first I understand how you treat me. But hey man! Im ur girlfriend Im not just your friend. So your slow replies make me think that this whole relationship is a joke. I hate not to be a priority and you are treating me as sheet of paper.
I ask for ur time, well you are so clever to answer me that you are giving me 'abit' of your time. Good man! Obviously Im not too attached to you because for sure we will not end up together just the way you are treating me.
So why did I accept you anyway? I like you, just LIKE. But because Its hard for me to trust people anymore well maybe my feelings wont get any better. Also, you dont give much effort.
Maybe we are just trying to get rid of the past.
Well I dont know how to start this post. Im so down now. Why? I dont know whats my plan.
Shall I pursue engineering?
Shall I just wait till im 23?
I want to study in the 2nd Semester but it sounds that my parents just want me to work here and honestly it sucks especially seeing those people who just change ur mood from being worse to worst. I cant handle too much stress I tell you, I get rid of it as soon as possible.
I want to tell someone, i want to ask for an advice. I cant even tell my bf coz I guess he wont understand really. So whats the point?? I dont know!! I dont know what to do now.
I never thought this is super stressed and Im not ready for all of these. Its killing my happiness.... Again.
I dont know. Useless me.
Hey! This is gonna be a not so encouraging post. This is all about being pessimistic. Its all stuck in my brain and I need to just let it out.
So a confession Im going to say is that.
1. Im not good looking at all. I know people already know me as an ugly short tanned skin human. But I want to let everyone knows about it. Pictures? Sure, let just say Im photogenic. I look good in most of my photos without editing it. But in reality im not. Im really not good looking at all. Even my parents know that.
One of the most hurtful thing a friend of mine said, " I hope you are JUST a picture". Its been years he told me that but I still cant get it out of my mind. Hon estly, im too ovelwhelmed to some of my photos because I thought thats what I really look like, but people around me proved me wrong.
2. Childish and immature. Well ive mentioned this a lot of times. But lets be specific now. Most at work treat me as a child because they say I act like one. Im unaware of that, its just me. Im also wondering why I am acting this way but I cant get an answer. Im also immature because I cant think of the most possible way to understand people around me. I dont take most things seriously.
A friend of mine said "Grow Up". How? I am praying that God will give me a mature mind that people may also respect me. Its hard.
3. Not Descent. So most of the girls my age are like very descent and all. Wear nice outfits and all. Act like a lady also. But me? I wear what I want and sometimes my friends will tease me. Im not conscious of what I look like before. But now, i realize im in my twentys and I dont even know how to properly fix myself. I envy those girls who can really take care of themselves.
Im thinking sometimes that maybe its better for me not to have a partner coz for sure he will be depress coz he got me. I dont feel my worth to anyone except my family and God. Besides them, i guess no one will ever treat me special and it hurts just thinking about it.
Hey yow! Well this day was a fine day I guess. So last time I attended a training in my company's department. Thank God I was the highest in the exam out of all the Team leaders and Engineers who attended. But although let say Im good in theories but in terms in actual repair I salute all of them and Im hoping one day I can be a maintenance technician.
So this day I was assigned to report a topic. I was very nervous because I will be the only technician who will report and the youngest also. Its my first time to explain technical stuffs. So far so good.
All I wanted is for them to not get bored at all because my report is super boring, well at least I tried and they are attentive, but not all. I just hope they understood the report.
So the epic part is when I asked them if who is in the picture (Michael Jackson) and then I told them like " right! This is Michael Jordan" and everyone was laughing hard. Okay, my fault..
It's Mother's Day and I want to dedicate this post to my Dad, oh I mean Mom.
So everyone says that their Mom is the best in the world. Let say my mom is one of the best also. She is a very nice person, inside and out. She is very supporting. I am so far away from here whole being and its sad.
I love her so much! The end.
The picture is the one I posted last time also. Hahah.
Hello there! i just so love blogging. This is like my silent bestfriend coz like what the blog title is, unspoken. This is where I post anythung I want.
So lets talk about being "Sisterzoned".
Its worse than friendzoned, being friends is something common. If you are sisterzoned, he treats u much more than a friend, he treats u as a sister. He is super concern about u, take care of u because he treats u as a baby sister. Just a sister. Not more than that.
So i have known this guy for half a year or so and we are like really close, he treats me very well but obviously as a sister He supports me if I like someone and I also support him, as if I really do.
Feelings grow, but the sisterly-love of that guy is much stronger. I feel like there is a great great wall between us that I cant reach him out. I dont wanna tell my feelings coz it would be embarrasing also. I dont know what to do. Honestly, im sick to be sisterzoned.
Hello world! i miss blogging. Its been few months that I updated this bcoz of my the app im using got a prob or i dont know
NEWS ABOUT:
1. Last March 20 , its the first anniversary that I and my classmates stayed here in Laguna
2. Im getting fatter, yes u read it right. i gained 6 kgs.
3. Well I am more tan than ever because last May 1, I and my classmates went to an island for summer escapade and I dont care, Im lovin it!!
4. My brother is residing and also working here.
5. Old buddies Jade and Markvin are also here and we always hang out!
I will try to post more!
