Things I realized when I turned 21

So there are things I realized when I turned 21. I never thought life would be different as I wanted it to be. I learned and I will still learn a lot.

1. Being 21 - I am the eldest in the family. I am also the oldest in our youth at church. I still don't act like a 21 yrs old, I act like a 12 yrs old girl. I'm not a responsible child/leader. 


2. Ministry - I should have learned the piano when I have the time. When everyone else in the circle of friends were used in the Music ministry, I was left behind.


3. Job - I don't have the skills to be a good technician and I think Im not capable to be one. But until now I don't know what I really want.


4. Love - thru all the failures and heartaches, its because I expected too much. I am a great assumer. Now, I learn to just let go of everything. Let go and Let God. Wait. Just wait for it.


5. Beach - No, I dont like the beach anymore thu I live very near to the beach. I don't like the sun either. I hate swimming. I should have learned how to swim.


6. Social Life - I killed my social life.  Whether in real or the internet. I don't use much of anything that can interact with people. I don't go out much. I wanted to stay at home always.


7. Study - I wanted to study engineering not because I wanted to be an engineer, I will study because I dont want to be just a technician with minimum salary. I wanted to be like others, to have what they want.


8. Singapore - Yes, I wanted to go there. I wanted to stay there. But maybe not now, I realized not now. I am not ready spiritually. Maybe I don't want to go there any more.


9. Lady - I am a girl, but never a woman. Everyone knows how to fix themselves, I am left with my messy hair and unpowdered face. I can wear good clothes, but it can never hide how not lady-like I am.


10.  Body - I need to eat vegetables, I need to exercise. Its hard, but I know Its worthed it in the end. I will try. I should.