So ive been away from my family for a year and I didnt know that at that time I was over the boundary, meaning I do things which my parents dont usually allow me to do. But its not really that bad but I just feel guilty although I also ask permission to my parents.
Firstly, I go out with my long time buddies till midnight. We just talk and talk in the park. But because they are boys, mom will be too strict. I know she trust me well so she just allow. But to my friends part, they think about it negatively and maybe I should be aware of my actions.
Then, I go to church late. You know that feeling when you have no friends so you are not excited to go the church? Well I know that the purpose we go to church is not for the people but for God. But its also a part of church, to connect with people but it doesnt worked out that way sadly.
Last, I hardly pray. It really seems that Im a very bad person now. Its hard for me to connect with God and I dont know why. I miss the feeling to be connected to him. I want it back badly but I dont know when or how to start . i need guidance but I dont know to whom.
I dont drink and I dont smoke but I make sins just equal to those things . I may not be tempted of liquor and cigars but I feel dirty and unhealthy. My spiritual body is dying and I need someone to make me feel the guidance and the love. Im very empty inside just like a backslider spiritually.
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